She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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