I skipped work to stalk him.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
