hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Actions speak louder than pants.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
