Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
