so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
