What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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