Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
