WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
