she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
