before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
