I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
