Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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