They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize