am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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