walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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