nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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