He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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