My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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