I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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