I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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