goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
