youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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