Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
