She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
