don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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