Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
