think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
