you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
