that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
