I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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