He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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