Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.

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(559): View more from California

Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs

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(205): View more from Alabama

btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

meow

(703): View more from Virginia

use your words like a big girl

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

i ran over your cat.

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