I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
