I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
