Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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