why didn't you poke me back
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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