do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
