dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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