If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
