Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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