i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
