his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
