did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
