I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
