smell my finger.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
