I didn't shave. On purpose
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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