Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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