butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
