well I can't set my house on fire every night
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
