In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
