my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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