my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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