after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
