just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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