Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
