My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
