It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
