Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
